Guidance on Raising Children

As-Salāmu ‘Alaykum wa Raḥmatullāhi wa Barakātuh. A‘ūdhu Billāhi Minash-shayṭāni r-rajīm. Bismillāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm. Wa ṣ-Salātu wa s-Salāmu ‘alá Rasūlinā Muḥammadin Sayyidi l-Awwalīna wa l-Akhirīn. Madad yā RasūlAllāh, Madad yā Sādāti Aṣḥābi Rasūlillāh, Madad yā Mashāyikhinā, Dastūr Mawlana Sheikh Abdullāh al-Fā’iz ad-Dāghistāni, Sheikh Muḥammad Nāẓim al-Ḥaqqānī. Madad. Ṭarīqatunā aṣ-Suḥbah wa l-Khayru fi l-Jam‘iyyah.

Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm:

(Qur’ān 64:15). ‘Innamā amwālukum wa awlādukum fitnah’, ‘Your wealth and your children are but a trial.’ Ṣadaqa Llāhu l-‘Aẓīm.

Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla says in the Qur’an, your children and your property are Fitnah for you. This means it can be good for you and it can be bad for you. If you follow what Allāh ﷻ orders, it will be good for you inshā’Allāh; not bad. Because what Allāh ﷻ gives, He ﷻ wants you to make it good for your life here and for the next life also.

You must be looking after everything - not even without looking - to be good for human beings, for Muslims, for Mu’mins. Everything must be pure for Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla. When you do this, inshā’Allāh don’t worry. Allāh ﷻ makes it straight, makes it easy for you and for your family also.

Because these days, families don’t know how to behave. The family must normally behave as Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla says: look after your father and mother, help them, serve them. But now, the mother and father are looking after the children. Even though they are big, they are serving them, they are helping them. When you do this, they don’t have any responsibility, they don’t have anything to appreciate. You must make them to. But now the system is such as they make children: no work for children, don’t make them go to work. In school and everywhere, you cannot say anything for them. You cannot tell them do this, do that. You must only serve them. You must look after them.

Before, when somebody reaches the age of 15, they become a man or a woman. They look after themselves. But now, first a small school, second school, third school, university. So everybody must go for that. After that, what could you learn? You cannot learn anything. After that, they are complaining: “Our children are not good, not looking after us. They are not happy with us.” Of course, when you are giving everything, what do you have left to make them happy?

This is the teaching of this time, the end of times. Before, there was a school: who can study, can study. Who can’t study, there are many things to do for their life. Now, reaching 30 years, still as a baby. And this is not good. You must not give everything. Even now without them asking, they give them. So they must make some - even if we give, wait a little bit, so they are happy when they get it. Now we give them, [they say], “What is this! This is not a good brand. This is a rubbish brand. Why did you give us this?” They get angry with you also.

Allāh ﷻ showed us from our father and grandfather. All of them were teaching how to deal with life. Now nothing. Only, they give everyone a phone and say, “Play with this, don’t be bored.” They must also be bored. To get bored is also good, not bad. So now there isn’t any time to be bored. Maybe when you are bored, you can maybe go to pray, maybe look at the Qur’an, maybe read some good book. But now they’re only playing, only enjoying themselves. And this enjoyment is not forever. You don’t have the opposite: not enjoying. When you enjoy, you get happy. But when you’re all the time enjoying, enjoying, it is like eating every day straw, straw, straw, like animals. May Allāh ﷻ keep children, keep us and give us inshā’Allāh hidāyah to be as He ﷻ wants inshā’Allāh.

Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq. Al-Fatiha.

Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil ar-Rabbani 17 October 2024/ 14 Rabih Al-Akhir 1446 Fajr Prayer – Kuala Lampur Dergah, Malaysia